I am going to try and not be judgmental with my post.

4 years ago when I met my partner, I put it straight to him before a first date, kiss, first anything. If it came down to my kids versus him, he would lose every time. He understood and still wanted to get to know me.

Just 2 months after we start living together, my ex-wife brings the boys to stay with me for what was supposed to be just a few weeks for the summer. They have not left. My partner, with whom I was blessed, never skipped a beat!

From day one when my boys, 3 and 5 at the time, came to stay with us, he treated them as they were his own. In fact, I have issues of jealousy sometimes because I get the short end of the stick at times.

All that to say, I lucked out and found a man that said he wanted a family and really meant it. This is not to imply that your partner does not want a family. But from what I know about only children, my ex-wife and my mother were only children, it is hard for them to refocus. They were used to having everything to their selves and did not have the competition of siblings for time and attention. Take it easy on him and help him to work through this process. It is hard to go from being single to "insta-family". He is stuck in his ways, so to speak. But just the fact that he has moved into a home with you and your boys, speaks volumes. That was a huge step for a single man, let alone a single gay man that was an only child.

So talk it out. Write it out. But communicate with each other and keep those lines open. Have special times for each other during the day, week, or month, when the kids are not around and make them regular. When in your special time, focus solely on each other and your needs of and for each other. This does take work, but in time you two can find a happy medium where all are adjusted and both adults can let the kids be kids and appreciate them for that.