I hear you. I am in a similar situation right now. I have known this guy since 7 months, totally and madly in love with him. He has 2 kids aged 5 and 7, their mother passed away 3 years ago. We are totally in love but he is not out to anyone. He decided to come out to his mother in law who takes care of the kids when he is at work, she was supportive but concerned for the kids. To my surprise 2 days ago he ended the relationship because he feels he is not giving the children 100%, and says I am the reason why he is not doing that. I know he loves me a lot. I have been very accomodating and I will still support him if he chooses to continue on his path. I love the kids dearly too and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make things work.

I am sorry I was supposed to tell you something to solve your problem and ended up telling you about mine...

For what it's worth, I think the kids come first for sure, but that does not mean there is no room for a partner. I think the key is finding someone who is understanding, stable, and willing to go through thick and thin because there will be ups and downs in any relationship. I think constant communication and sharing of fears and concerns is a must for things to work. Taking rash decisions doesn't help anyone in such a situation. My advice to you is to assess how much you love this guy, and if the answer is you love him with all your heart, then ask yourself, how good is he to your kids, have a conversation with him on the topic, tell him your concerns and see if he can address them or see if you can come to common grounds, if not, then you can think about other options and make up your mind.

If you are truely in love, do not have doubts, work it through, I hope you won't shut him off like the guy i love dearly did to me. Work it out, talk, consult, cry, but communicate and keep an open mind.

Not sure if that helps, I hope it does.

Nadeem
nadeem_mansour@hotmail.com