Ralph the elf (PC version is magical creature of diminutive size)

Well this seems to becoming a monthly occurrance as I have time so this may just be in the form of random thought or occurrances as I wait for Bryce to wake up. Of course Benjamin is awake and chatting away as I write this. We are in Christmas preparation mode and the house is as decorated as it is going to get this year. The neighbors have all the decorations out. I thought about a lighted inflatable blow up doll, dressed as Santa or Ru Paul on the front lawn...but then I figured I could not compete with all of the folks. So I gave up.

My new Mantra-I have given myself a new mantra this holiday season it is "I am only one person". I repeat it to my self over and over as I scurry around like the squirrel from Ice Age trying to get everyting done. I feel like Madonna and Kabalism, at this point as I chant along to every song there is. It actually works and helps me keep things in perspective. I am NOT going to get everyting done and it is ok. (Bryce is up calling DADDY.....) OHMMMMM, I am only one person...LOL.

Cookie Night- We have a trandition in my family of getting together once a year and mass producing Christmas cookie for my mother to give away. It is alot of fun and this would have ben Bryce's forst year. However, he was sick. SO me bign the hardcore traditionalist tried to do it at home with the boys. The lesson is that mutiple bowls of frosting a sprinkled with boys is a dangerous combinition. It looked like some kind of art show by the time we were finished. We had a ball but it took me as long to clean the kitchen as it did to bake the cookies etc. It was pretty funny. I am going to give the boys spackling tools next year as there is more frosting on those cookies than I have ever seen. Santa is sure to go into insulin shock from eating just one. It is good to have traditions and things of that nature. However, handing out hazmat suits may be necessary for next year. Who knew that Santa could be made black by adding all the frosting together, that it could be used as war paint to be indians and that there should be dinosaur and car tracks on the snow men. Why did we not have yellow snow, there was in the back yard....so we have both realism, and impressionism in the cookies bakes by the boys.

Ralph the Elf-Ben is in a typical know it all, 5 year old mode and I want to teach him to write a lease, get a t pass and make mac and cheese and hs is good to move out on his own. SO we have Ralph the Elf to keep things in check. To Ben he is the direct report link to Santa. To me he is a creative way to mix work and family. My own way of work life balance. The Ralph character is the Elf, from the North Pole who was assigned to our family (eons ago). As you know due to the constant restructuring and growth of the Santa Industry, there were additional personnel added. I am not sure when Ralph was hired into service but he has a long service record with the industry according to HR. Prior to Ralph joining Clause Inc. he was a circus performer. He has survived several Elf severance events as Clause Inc has adopted technology and began outsourcing to India. Word of warning do not ever call the help desk there it take HOURS.

Just to be politically correct, Ralph is an entity of diminutive size. Though a magical creature, we must be sensitive to diversity now! I am not sure of his origin, I am fairly certain it is somewhere in Europe. As to additional chores, Ralph does nothing except collect statistics to enter into the Clause Inc. database. Additionally, he now works remotely, so he may be living in Miami...not sure. He does not sleep at my house but I do catch him watching the kids. He employs new technology such as GPS so he can monitor the kids movement and report accordingly. I hope this helps explain Ralph better so you have a perspective on this very important creature and the role he plays. He is very motivational at this time of year....

P.S., the spell check is not working.....I am only one person.