My new life

Submitted by njs0616 on Wed, 01/23/2008 - 10:33am.

Well, where do I begin? I was with my ex-girlfriend for almost three years, we broke up, one month later I had sex with a man and got pregnant. This girl was my first real homosexual relationship and after we split up I didn't know who I was, what I wanted, or where I wanted to be. It was this life that I grew accustomed to and then it was gone. I was lost. Anyways, I had no intention on jumping into another relationship with anyone and now that I'm pregnant it has kind of been forced on me by my family, the future father, and everyone else around me. I feel like I'll be frowned upon if I leave this unhappy relationship because it's not right. I would be a broken home before it even starts!! I want to give myself some time to be single and get over my ex and maybe in the future think about trying things with this man, but from going through the motions, i realize that is all i'm doing... going through the motions. i dont put any effort into this relationship to make it better because i dont want it. If i wasn't pregnant I wouldn't be in this situation, but now that there is a baby on the way I'm kind of scared about raising it in a homosexual relationship. Not because I feel it's wrong or anything like that, but because this child has a father and a mother. If i were to have a child with a woman I think that would be different, but because it wasn't conceived that way, I'm confused on what would be right for the baby.

Please someone talk to me... Is anyone out there with some sort of similar experience? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading!!
Nicki

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Happy

Submitted by proudparent2008 on Mon, 01/28/2008 - 8:37pm.

I am so happy that I am going to have a baby.I am so exicted and I can't wait.My baby is going to be due in September.

congrats

Submitted by njs0616 on Tue, 02/12/2008 - 11:54pm.

congrats on being a momma :) good luck to you both!!

Kinda same boat

Submitted by on Wed, 01/30/2008 - 9:09am.

I did not date for almost three years at that point I met a very special woman and fell in love. I have never been so happy in my life. A man I thought I was in love with came bac into my life and I left her for a "normal life" I ended up pregnant and alone for the fact being I couldn't just go through the actions of a "straight life" I could not be unhappy like that. He does not know about the child and I do not plan on telling him. My family is very supportive of me being a single mother. I will one day meet a woman who will share my life with me. And untill then I will raise my child. A child DOES NOT need a mother and a father but is great you have the opprotunity to give that to your child. But you don't HAVE to be in a relationship with the father to give that to your child. There is visitation and joint custody people do it every day. Follow your heart and good luck. BTW I am due in April and have gone the past 7 months alone the woman I left to be with the man is still a good friend but in no way will ever be my partner again. I hurt her too much but life goes on right?

ugh...

Submitted by njs0616 on Tue, 02/12/2008 - 11:50pm.

your message breaks my heart because it is SO similar to mine. i ended up leaving him last week. i now live alone and we have had absolutely no contact since i left. i realize i did EXACTLY what you did. i was just going through the motions. i was so depressed living with him and living alone scared me because i thought it would be more depressing, but it's actually amazing! i'm more motivated to do things for me and my baby than i ever have been.

another thing, i regret every single day that i told him i'm pregnant. i'm going to try to talk to a lawyer and see what my custody options are. i think i have a chance of having him not even get visitation rights, but that's a whole different story :) well good luck to you and your baby and congrats!! thanks for the feedback it helps alot knowing i'm not alone in this world. i felt like such a horrible person for leaving and hurting her so bad for a man, but now i'm realizing it was for the best. i would never find out who i am if it wasn't for that decision.

keep me posted on how the pregnancy goes and what your having!!! i'm excited for you :)

thanks again,
Nicki

hey u can still be happy for

Submitted by NY_Butterflies917 on Sat, 05/10/2008 - 3:19pm.

hey u can still be happy for u u dont want ur child to see u settled with his/her dad b/c u HAD to. i had my father and then a step father just b.c ur wth a girl doesnt mean u gotta cut off the dad and if u want him there and he wants to be and u think thats whats best let him stay but dont be unhappy ur self u dont wanna teach ur kid to settle and be unhappy b/c they HAVE to. good luck wit every thing

Chrys