School vacations and Daddy Day Care

Well it is mid February and this is the week of school vacation. I am usually laying on a beach by now with Ben playing in blue water and me thinking of nothing. However this year we have Bryce who is now free for adoption and paperless. The adoption process is difficult I will admit and there is not a way to describe it but there are things that you do not think about. Like the fact that you can not (or it is extremely difficult to obtain one) You have to get permission to remove the child from a jurisdiction and to take a child overseas while the adoption is in process is not a good thing, there are to many things that could go wrong. As I am often traveling to places where they will look at the birth certificate and there is only a mother on it and I am not named it is not worth explaining to a border guard why I am a single father with 2 little boys. Perhaps this is internalized homophobia...but it is certainly not worth the risk. So we are home this week.

We celebrated Bryce's second birthday by heading up to Maine and going out to dinner with just the three of us. It was amazing to see his face light up when they brought out the cake with the candle in it and he knew exactly what to do, blow out the cnadle and head for the frosting. I would say that beign home with the boys is a rewarding challenge. It give me time to spend with the kids in a non rushed and open way to do what we want when the mood striked and to actually listen to the kids and let them take control of the conversations and the week. It is not absent chalenges and I do feeel like I do not get a vacation.

Oh well, my birtday is approaching in a little more than a wek and I am just fine with that. No fan fare, no expectations and no additional candles. I guess that if I had to say that I live my life with no regrets, I would be a fool. While I have few regrets perhaps one that I am becoming aware of is that I wish I had chosen to be a father earlier. I know there were reasons and things to get done but with all the gifts I get on a daily basis from the kids. Oh well I am off with the boys to get the car detailed...yes it is a mess.