down in the dumps

today has just been one of those days where everything just seemed to go badly. we are both under so much stress and worry with everything going on. everyday im waiting to ovulate and everyday im not. this is only our beginning of getting my cycle down pat and already it seems so stressful. getting pregnant is all i think about everyday all day. and for some reason i have this internal fear that it just wont work for me! crazy i know but i just cant shake it. i want so badly to give crystalyn a child the same way that she has given me one and im so affraid that i wont be able to do it. the reality of the situation is i worry WAY too much and always am waiting for the worst. guess i just want this so so much that i cant bare to be disappointed. :sighs: why cant this process be stress free and just so simple. guess cuz nothing in life ever is!