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There is next to nothing more loathsome than the usual cliche. They're the trite, meaningless platitudes intended to sound deep, but almost invariably reveal whoever is talking with be not a very deep thinker. And they are more painful when it comes to parenting.
The truth is, all kids are different. All families are different. (Yes, even happy ones. Take that Tolstoy!) When people ask things like "didn't your mother ever teach you (fill in the blank)?" my fact is usually no. And thank goodness. My parents valued individuality over trite "rules" for living we all should obey. I will practice exactly the same.
In addition to the Golden Rule ("Do unto others ..."), there are few "rules" one's. Here are a few cliches I will not teach my children in the near future:
"There are starving children in Africa": You can find starving children everywhere, worldwide. Certainly, children should know their privilege and be taught how lucky they are, but forcing a young child to eat everything on his or her plate does outright foster obesity and an inability to recognize one's own hunger cues.
"Children ought to be seen and never heard": I eventually like children a tremendous amount better than I love adults. I, for starters, would much rather hear a youngster discuss his life or her interests than I'd like to listen for a grownup on his cellphone or talking loudly in a restaurant or being rude to your cashier. I am not sure where we've got the notion that youngsters are ruder than adults, but it's a fallacy. I'd personally never teach my children to stifle themselves or perhaps be quiet.
"Nice girls don't...": That one is really as awful as is also its variation: "that's not so ladylike!" My daughter has to be strong woman who doesn't abide by anyone's rules for "nice" girls. "Nice" is only a kinder technique of saying bland and boring. I would not expect her to be mean, but I also don't expect her to try out by any rules but her very own. All things considered, successful women don't worry whether people think they're "nice." They only do what they need.
"If you do not possess anything nice to convey, don't say anything at all": That one kills me because no successful person lives by this. Honesty can sometimes hurt and not always "nice." Basically only ever said "nice" things, I wouldn't say much in any respect. The planet isn't so easily split up into "nice" and "mean." In spite of this, I really do want my children to rehearse the notion that they shouldn't say things behind backs (or online) they wouldn't be courageous enough to say to someone's face.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names won't ever hurt me": This really is commonly said on the playground reacting to taunts by fellow schoolmates. While there's some element of truth into it -- being called names shouldn't affect children so deeply plus they really should have enough confidence to allow it to roll off their backs -- additionally it is untrue. Names can hurt deeply, although I want the kids to become strong enough to never be hurt when they are called names, Furthermore , i would never want them being the methods calling anyone names.
None of these are true anymore in our world that outdated components of "wisdom" need to be revamped for the modern world where we live. No, my mother never educated me in any of this trite crap, and you also understand what? I will be thankful each day.
Have you got any parenting cliches you won't follow?