Tell children early in life. Donor Sibling Registry enables children to find and connect with half-siblings
BBC News reports on research that suggests children conceived using sperm donors should be told of their origins at an early age. The study is one of the first to research the views of donor offspring. The offspring, aged 13 to 61, were all on the U.S. Donor Sibling Registry, which helps offspring search for their biological parent and any siblings.
Experts suggest that parents talk with children about how they were conceived, not because kids will understand, but so that parents can practice talking about the issue - and get used to the language they want to use. If parents are proactive, there is no big revelation. It just becomes one of the things a child knows about herself.
The Donor Sibling Registry is a non-profit service that works to assist individuals conceived as a result of sperm, egg or embryo donation who are seeking to make mutually desired contact with others with whom they share genetic ties.
DSR has enabled more than 5,500 children conceived as a result of sperm, egg, or embryo donation to find and connect with half-siblings. The grass-roots organization also offers a space for prospective parents to help them decide among donors by viewing information about their offspring. Its website has a large number of resources regarding talking to children about donor conception, as well as articles and links for prospective parents to help decide whether a “willing to be known” donor is best for their family.
Image: Donor Sibling Registry
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Our experience with the Donor Sibling Registry and Wendy, it's co-founder, has been overwhelmingly positive. We've "matched" with our 4 year old's half-sibs, and met 3 of the families in person. The half-sibs have interesting similarities, and we've grown quite close to one of the families - it's like having cousins. All of our match families have either been lesbian couples or single moms.
Ann
We are DSR Members. Can't say enough good!
Our family consists of 2 moms, one donor-conceived boy, now 6. And a bunch of pets!
We joined the Donor Sibling Registry years back. We have now found 19 siblings, scattered around the US from coast to coast. We have received some pictures of siblings, some who look so alike that people confuse pictures of our son with pics of certain siblings.
Wendy and Ryan, who founded this site, have done a terrific job. We have found the registration fee reasonable for what it provides and the amount of work that they put into that and the related discussion group on Yahoo.
We have an adult, donor-conceived friend. She knows her 2 half-sibs. I asked her about her experience with knowing her half-sister and half-brother. She has found it to be quite a gift, and says that if we ALL knew we had brothers and sisters scattered around the globe, she thinks we would have a lot fewer wars. Maybe she is right!
We have met one sib, and had a good visit. There is talk of our sibling group meeting.
The site seems to do a good job with providing security, too.
At the age of 6, our son knows he was born to a donor, he knows about how eggs and sperm work and where they come from. He knows that he has a "donor daddy" out there, and we tell him that we don't know his father, but that he was very generous, and gave away that part of himself that can make a baby, and helped our son come to our family as a result.
Now, that is more than many teach their young children, but as I work with animal reproduction, knowing about where babies come from is also more part of the scenery in our family.
but... He can give really good answers to his friends when they ask, "Why don't you have a daddy?" Our family structure has just become part of the scenery at his school.
I strongly encourage those of you who conceived with donors and surrogates to check out the Donor Sibling Registry. It has been a blessing in our life.
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