WAY OUT PARENTING: IS RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER GAY?

Submitted by Way Out Parent on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 10:43pm.

It’s always a little dangerous to speculate about the gayness of others. And it’s even more presumptuous to speculate about a Christmas icon. But this holiday season as you listen to Ella and Burl and Dean sing the famous Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer anthem, pay attention to the clues. There’s at least a fifty-fifty chance that Rudolph is a gay reindeer. And his experience can certainly help your little ones understand what life is like for most gays. So here are the telltale signs. You decide. Does Rudolph light up your gaydar?

Clues About Rudolph	Gay Interpretation
He had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw him, you would even say it glowed.	“Shiny nose” is code for “flamboyance.” In other words, Rudolph glowed with gayness. He was born different, and he didn’t—or couldn’t—hide it.
All the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.	You know the names he was called: fag, twinkie, poof. But like all gays, Rudolf learned to be stoic. He pretended not to be bothered by the epithets. He kept to himself and thought, “Someday I’ll get out of this provincial little North Pole town. I’ll let my nose lead the way to a brighter future.”
They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.	Rudolph grew up a sad loner. As a child, he never got any playdates. The bigger reindeer bullied him. In gym class, he was always the last reindeer picked for a team. He was barred from reindeer training exercises for fear he would act inappropriately while camped out on an ice floe with the other reindeer.
One foggy Christmas Even Santa asked, “Rudolf with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight.”	Santa was smart enough to realize that without the help of a flamboyant, red-nosed reindeer, his entire, world-wide toy distribution enterprise would flounder? How many other titans of industry have relied on the vision and direction provided by gays? Think fashion, hair care, cosmetics, design, entertainment, tourism, food service, allied health. The list goes on.
Then all the reindeer loved him.	This is where the story becomes a fantasy. In real life, Rudolph would once again be despised as soon as the fog lifted, but what fun would that be at Christmas time?

You can also read about Santa who is not gay but is very gay friendly!

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Very cool and excellent observations!

Submitted by on Sun, 12/21/2008 - 12:13am.

Just happened upon your site and your thoughts while surfing. Rudolph is definitely a gay allegory. Ever watch "my favorite martian." He was his gay uncle for the love of god! A martian, indeed!

Anyway, I felt fortunate to read your little blog and got a laugh out of it. Happy holidays!