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Author describes being raised by a gay man
Her dad came out to her when she was 5-years-old, and she's been surrounded by gay people her entire life. Now she shares her unique view of the world with others in books, television appearances, and speaking engagements.
The author of Families Like Mine discusses shame and pride of gay families in this 17-minute video produced by the Human Rights Campaign.
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Shame and fitting in as an adult with LGBT parents.
I love the way Abigail explains the difference between shame and safety. I have always been proud of my Moms, but (unfortunately) I didn't (and don't) always feel safe enough to share that with everyone around me. I have to test the waters, to see who is accepting. It's not about shame, it's about knowing the group we are in. I have to make a decision about how "out" I'm going to be. This is NOT a reflection of who my parents are, it's a reflection of how society views them.
One thing that I notice a lot of gay parents are shocked to find out is that...WE COME OUT just like you! It can be just as uncomfortable, scary and unnerving for us as it can be for you. As Abigail mentions, it's good to put words to it for kids, so they can explain it to their peers.
When I was a kid, my family was closeted. I had two TV shows I could point to that were not accurate representations of my family, but at least something that was "accepted" that I could point to. Remember "Kate & Ally" and "My Two Dads?" Nowadays, "gay" is a common term so you don't have to give them something misrepresentative. Give your kids something that makes sense to other kids of their age. So, they have words to describe their family.
Now, as for us having a place in society. I have always felt like straight and gay never really fit me. I'm 100% sexually straight, but I so identify as part of the gay community. I mean, I did grow up with a community of lesbians around me, which was very cool. There is a sense among adults with LGBT parents that we do not fit in society. Look at all the gay websites about gay parenting...most do not include adults with LGBT parents. Even the big organizations that provide connection for kids of LGBT parents, don't include many (if any) activities for adults. I've met a few people who feel like they don't fit in anywhere. It's not about fitting in, it's about finding a place where they are accepted as a human being. Sometimes, I think that space is missing in the LGBT community.
Create a great day!
Kristen Beireis
http://rainbowinme.amazingsteps.com
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