{"id":393,"date":"2007-11-02T13:59:03","date_gmt":"2007-11-02T13:59:03","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2007-11-02T13:59:03","modified_gmt":"2007-11-02T13:59:03","slug":"entrepreneurs-in-the-greatest-sense-this-couple-is-using-the-internet-to-expand-their-family-through-open-adoption","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/proudparenting.com\/2007\/11\/entrepreneurs-in-the-greatest-sense-this-couple-is-using-the-internet-to-expand-their-family-through-open-adoption\/","title":{"rendered":"Entrepreneurs in the greatest sense. This couple is using the Internet to expand their family through open adoption."},"content":{"rendered":"

Ross and J. are using the Internet to pursue open adoption. They’re already busy with Connor, their little boy – born in 2005 – and the dads think he’ll be a “great big brother”.<\/p>\n

The couple believes strongly in open adoptions. Each open adoption is different – and based on the type of relationship that the birth parents and the adoptive parents have agreed to.<\/p>\n

We interviewed Ross and J. to learn about their experience with this type of adoption – and gained insight into their pioneering method of finding open adoption online.<\/p>\n

Did you pursue alternatives to open adoption?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Once we knew we were ready to start a family, we took a “Maybe Baby” class
\nwith other gay couples and singles who wanted to be parents. In this class
\nwe learned about co-parenting, surrogacy, adoption, etc. and confirmed our
\ninitial thought that adoption was right for us. We started looking into
\ninternational adoption and decided it didn’t feel right for us, and then we
\ndiscovered open adoption. It is really important for us to provide answers
\nto our children about their background, their adoption stories, and to have
\ncontact with their birth parents.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Has an open relationship developed with Connor’s biological parent(s)?<\/strong><\/p>\n

We have a very open relationship with Connor’s birthparents. They visit us
\nor we visit them at least twice a year, including for Connor’s birthday. We
\nalso email and send pictures more frequently. We also understand that we
\nmay not be able to have such openness with the birth parents of our future
\nchildren.<\/p>\n

What types of activities do you enjoy together?<\/strong><\/p>\n

When we visit with Connor’s birth parents we usually do kid-friendly
\nactivities like going to the Children’s Museum, swimming at our community
\npool, and going to the zoo.<\/p>\n

Depending on the level of closeness you may have with Connor’s
\nbiological parent(s) – the logistics could get challenging. Have you
\nagreed upon certain boundaries? Or do you create the rules as you go?<\/strong><\/p>\n

At the beginning, we agreed on a minimum level of contact, but it has
\nevolved to be more frequent than what we originally agreed.<\/p>\n

How did you find Connor’s biological mother?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Connor’s birth parents found us through our adoption agency, Friends in
\nAdoption, after doing an Internet search for adoption agencies.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Did you pursue alternatives to seeking a biological parent via the
\ninternet?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Using the Internet to connect with birth parents is only one of our
\napproaches. Our agency does a lot of networking for their prospective
\nadoptive parents, we have advertised in newspapers and on adoption profile
\nsites, we pass out adoption cards with our contact information wherever we
\ngo, and we tell everyone we know that we are looking to adopt.<\/p>\n

I’m sure the feedback to rossandj.com<\/a> is overwhelming. How much
\nemail do you receive each month?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Recently we have been receiving over 1,000 visitors per week to our site.
\nWe have received up to 10 emails a week at the peak; with most of them being
\npeople wishing us well on our adoption journey and a couple to several per
\nmonth from expectant mothers wanting more information.<\/p>\n

I don’t notice many other prospective adoptive parents running ads
\nonline. Am I correct that the number is low? Why do you think that is?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Advertising on the Internet can expose prospective adoptive families to a
\nlot of potential scams and occasionally, especially same-sex couples, can
\nreceive email from hateful people. We imagine that a lot of people are not
\nup for receiving this type of email (we just ignore the negative) and we
\nhave an excellent adoption agency to help us through questionable situations
\nthat come about.<\/p>\n

What’s your budget for online advertising – on average?<\/strong><\/p>\n

We don’t have a specified budget, but generally we are spending less during
\nthis adoption journey than our first.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

How many children do you want?<\/strong><\/p>\n

We’ve always talked about having two children, but you never know! We think
\nadopting twins would be great, which would make us a family of three
\nchildren total!<\/p>\n

It seems like you guys are very open in the community about your
\nfamily – and you’re website has probably been viewed by everyone in
\nyour immediate vicinity. Have you encountered any homophobia from
\ncommunity members?<\/strong><\/p>\n

As mentioned above, we do get an occasional hateful email which we ignore,
\nbut in our immediate community we haven’t encountered any – including at
\nConnor’s day care and at our place of employment.<\/p>\n

On a much more positive note, have you received any encouragement
\nfrom community members?<\/strong><\/p>\n

We have always received positive feedback from those in our local community
\nwho know that we have adopted and want to do so again.<\/p>\n

What have I left out? Is there anything you’d like to add?<\/strong><\/p>\n

We would like to add this: The Internet is just one way that prospective
\nadoptive parents can seek out birthparents – and it is not for everyone. No
\none way is right for everyone and nothing can, in our opinion, replace a
\nreputable and experienced adoption agency and attorney.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ross and J. are using the Internet to pursue open adoption. They’re already busy with Connor, their little boy –<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":8636,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,195],"tags":[294,362],"yoast_head":"\nEntrepreneurs in the greatest sense. 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